


Mama and Me

by pinkevilbob



Series: Mama Nott AU [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Background Trent Ikithon, Body Horror, Child Abuse, Gen, trent ikithon probably counts as a content warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 21:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19934527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: What if Nott met Caleb when he was a small child and raised him for a few years? And what if I didn't focus on that part but on Caleb's teenaged years?





	Mama and Me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this AU was initially created by Kiley on the Widojest server, and then Poyo and I started talking about it and it became this. At first this was going to be shippy, but then I went 'no this is about family'. So yeah, here it is.

Caleb's first clear memory was of Mama. She was not his first mother. His first mother and father died before he could remember them, so there was always just Mama for him. Mama was green and small like Caleb was when he was little. Her ears were long and floppy, and she never complained when Caleb played with them. Every time Mama said she was ugly, Caleb knew that she was lying. There was no one more beautiful than Mama to Caleb.

When he was five, Caleb learned the word goblin. Goblin meant a foul creature that was cruel and evil. He also learned that Mama was a goblin, but she was none of those things. Humans took Caleb away from Mama and said that they had a better place for him to live. Caleb did not call a small crowded house full of kids that were loud and mean better.

At first, Caleb would cry and ask for Mama, but he quickly learned that that was a bad idea. He learned most things very quickly: reading, writing, math, how to be a distraction while Mama got what they needed, and magic. The adults at the orphanage were very interested in his magic. Caleb had found an old tattered book one day and taught himself spells from it. Some of the pages were missing but Caleb managed to piece together how to finish that spell. The adults weren't even mad when he accidentally set off a firebolt inside the orphanage.

He was ten when the man from the Soltryce Academy came. He was old, kind of yellow like a really old book, and covered in spots, but not like how Caleb was covered in freckles. There was something eerie about him at first, but that feeling went away quickly when he talked to Caleb about magic. His name was Trent Ikithon and he told Caleb that normally students don't start at Soltryce until they were 15, but that someone as magically talented as Caleb was clearly above the riffraff in the muck and deserved to escape it all.

That day Caleb's name became Bren. "A proper name for a proper wizard," Master Ikithon said.

Bren didn't cry when he packed up and left for Rexentrum. He was to be Ikithon's ward which was a rare opportunity that Bren was to be grateful for. And he was. As he climbed into the carriage, he didn't even think about Mama. It was a long time before Bren thought about Mama.

It was a bad day for Master Ikithon when Bren remembered to think about Mama. A student of his had done something foolish from what Bren heard, but Bren didn't know what that student had done. Bren tried to avoid Master Ikithon when he was in one of his moods. He had never mistreated Bren, but there was something about that look on his face that had always put Bren on edge. But Bren wasn't aware of Master Ikithon’s mood that day and went to show his guardian the latest spell he'd learned. Master Ikithon snapped."You foolish boy! Any imbecile can make petty lights like that! You're supposed to be better than that! I should've left you in that gods forsaken orphanage!"

Bren was left in the closet that night. It was to remind him of his mistakes and to meditate and learn how to make up for his follies. But it just made him wish that Mama was there. She would've dried his eyes and told Caleb that he was very clever for learning that spell and that she loved him very much. Mama wasn't there though and was probably dead, so Bren just curled up in the corner until he fell asleep.

Life with Master Ikithon was unpredictable. Even after five years, Bren couldn't tell when his guardian's mood would suddenly change. Bren was just glad that the next year he was going to live in the dormitories. Not that Bren wasn't grateful. He knew that he owed everything to Master Ikithon and that he should take absolutely nothing for granted. It was just that Bren could do without Master Ikithon's temper.

It was expected for Bren to be by Master Ikithon's side outside of classes and Master Ikithon's important meetings. Except for when Master Ikithon had to travel. Then Bren was left with the matron of the dormitory. She was bland and boring, but there was no yelling from her, so Bren didn't mind her. Part of him was a little disappointed to be left behind though. When Caleb was with Mama, they'd travel all the time. So it was a surprise when Master Ikithon told Bren that he would be joining him in Zadash. "It will be a learning experience."

* * *

Nott made sure to stay low during the party that followed the Victory Pit. Beau and Yasha had went over to talk to the mages that fought the Cricks and Nott kept glancing over them. But it wasn't the mages or her friends Nott kept eyeing. Instead it was the teenage human boy that stood with the mages. His hair was a rusty auburn and he had bright blue eyes. He was probably close to her boy's age. She shook the thought out of her head. Her boy was long gone and probably in a better place than this. Well not better than a fancy party, but better than being with her.

"So, how do you think it's going?"Molly asked.

Fjord shrugged. "No idea."

Nott turned back to look at the teenage boy, but he had slipped away. It wasn't her boy she reminded herself. It couldn't have been, but part of Nott liked pretending that it was and that her boy was doing well. A voice interrupted her thoughts. "Mama?" The voice was soft, hesitant and clearly young. "Mama, is it really you?"

"Caleb?" Nott asked not daring to believe her luck. She didn't even bother looking for him knowing that it was a Message. "Where are you? What are you doing here? Yooucanreplytothismeesage."

"My guardian's here. Master Ikithon. I'm in the coats right now though."

"I'll be right there." Nott barely excused herself from her companions to go to him. Pushing back coats and cloaks, she found him. The teenage boy really was her boy, her Caleb. "My boy." She didn't dare touch him for fear of him just disappearing and being a dream, but Caleb didn't have the same fears.

He wrapped her in a tight hug. "Oh, Mama. I missed you so much."

Nott returned his hug. "I missed you more than you can imagine."

"I can imagine a lot," Caleb said not letting go of her.

"Of course you can, you're such a clever boy." Nott pressed a kiss into his forehead. There was no way she was this lucky, but she wasn't going to reject this gift.

Caleb pulled back. "What are you doing here Mama?"

"I'm a mercenary," Nott said puffing her chest out. "We won in the Victory Pit."

Caleb nodded. "I saw. You killed a hill giant." And his eyes shone with admiration.

"The others helped. I just got lucky." Nott blushed and chuffed her feet at the ground.

"I missed you Mama. You have to tell me all about your adventures," Caleb said.

Nott frowned. She didn't want to scare him with her tales of danger or sadden him with all her nights alone. "But first you need to tell me all about your adventurers. You've grown into such a handsome young man."

"Mama." Caleb's cheeks turned a bright red. "I go to school for wizards. Up in Rexxentrum. Soltryce Academy."

Her jaw dropped. "Soltryce? That's the best school in the country."

Caleb nodded with a grin. "I got in early too. They said that talent like mine shouldn't be wasted."

"And they're right. You should have dinner with me and my friends."

The blood drained from Caleb's face. "Oh no. Master Ikithon's looking for me. I have to go, Mama." He suddenly looked beaten down and scared. Nott would’ve done anything to erase that look from him.

"I'll visit you tonight then," Nott said. "Where are you staying?"

Caleb craned his head over Nott's distracted. "In the Halls of Erudition. Second floor end of the east wing. I gotta go. Master Ikithon's going to be cross if I make him wait much longer."

Nott gave him one last hug. "I love you Caleb."

"I love you too Mama." And with that Caleb was gone.

* * *

Bren paced the floor. Mama was going to visit him, or Caleb. He didn't know who he was. Was he Caleb and Mama's son or was he Bren, the ward of Master Ikithon? Sometimes he wondered if he was neither and was just a nameless orphan that a goblin found. Or was he just over thinking everything and just a fool.

Pebbles clacked against the window and he threw it open to see Mama there with her friends. Caleb couldn't help but smile. "You came!"

Mama smiled. "Did you really think that anything would keep me away from you?"

"No, well maybe," Caleb said, "The Halls are very secure."

"Well, the Halls have never met the Mighty!" said a blue tiefling said behind Mama flexing an arm. She looked like she was close to Caleb's age and held her bangs back with a bow.

A human woman next to her snorted. "Are we just going to stand here yapping or are we going in?"

"Oh right, come in," Caleb said stepping back from the window.

"Not to contradictory, but we can't just walk into the second floor window," a second tiefling said. He was purple and covered in all sorts of tattoos.

Caleb looked for something to lower down for them to climb up when a rope landed on the ledge of the window. He tied it post of his bed. "It should be secure."

Mama scrambled up the rope before anyone could say anything. Her face lit up when she saw him in the room and covered Caleb's cheeks with kisses.

"Mama," he laughed."I'm too old for this." But he loved every second of it.

"You're never too big for your mother's love," Mama said.

The human woman climbed through the window. "I don't know, Nott. It's seems pretty weird to me. Still can't believe that you've got a kid. Let alone a human one."

"Oh, well, Mama's not my first mother, but my first one died," Caleb said. A small part of him still missed her, but he didn't really know her and he loved Mama even if she wasn't his first mother. "A long time ago. But it's okay, cause I’ve got Mama."

Mama squeezed his hand. "That's right."

The room soon became crowded with all of Mama's friends. They were a weird bunch, but they seemed to be a team. The blue tiefling leaned in close to Caleb. Her face was all spotted with acne and freckles just like Caleb's. She smiled a big fanged girn. "We didn't even know that you existed until today, but Nott's been going on about you all day."

"Oh, Mama hasn't had much time to tell me about you yet," Caleb said awkwardly.

Mama waved off his concern. "They're not that important. The cute, blue one's Jester Lavorre("We're going to be like such good friends!"), then there's Beau, she's still learning her people skills("Shut up."), Fjord Tuff("It's just Fjord."), Mollymauk Tealeaf("My friends all call me Molly"), and Yasha("...hi."). But you'll have time to get to know them later. Are you all packed?"

"Packed? What are you talking about?" Caleb asked.

"Well, you are joining us after all," Mama said. "Don't tell me you haven't packed yet.”

Bren shook his head. "I can't just leave. Master Ikithon would never allow it."

"That's why we're sneaking you out."

"You don't understand. Master Ikithon is my guardian. He took care of me for years. There's no way he'd just let me leave," Bren said.

Mama's ears sagged down. "You must care about him a lot then."

"It's not like that either, Mama. I'd rather be with you I promise, but I need to keep going to school. Even if I did leave, he'd just find me." Bren duck his head down. "I'm sorry Mama."

"We could take him," Mama said.

Bren's blood froze. "No, you can't. Promise me you'll never try to fight anyone from the academy. They'll kill you." He could hear his voice cracking, but for once he didn't care about it. "They're dangerous."

"Then why do you stay with them?" Jester asked.

And that was the question. Why did he stay with Master Ikithon? "They serve the Empire. They keep it safe and strong." And because Brendidn’t have any other choice.

Beau snorted. "Yeah, the Empire's just peachy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bren asked.

"Not everything's on the up and up here. If you keep your eyes open, you might see it for yourself."

Bren frowned at this. Such talk is dangerous and should be reported, but Bren couldn't do that to his mama. Maybe Master Ikithon was right about him being weak. "You should be going." He turned away.

"Caleb," Mama said. She tried to hold his hand, but he pulled it away.

"I'm not Caleb anymore. It's Bren now." A proper name for a proper wizard he told himself. He wanted to cry and hold Mama close and beg her not to leave, but that was just excessive emotion. Those who served the empire like Bren did had to be stronger than that. Bren had to be stronger.

The Mighty murmured. "Let's go," the half orc said.

"What a jerk," the human woman said as the group began to clamber down the rope.

There was a beat of silence before Mama spoke. "You are safe?"

"I'm fine Mama," Bren said. He had to force it out of his mouth, but he couldn't worry Mama.

She gave him one last hug around his back. "I will never stop loving you."

Caleb squeezed her little goblin hand. "Me neither. I miss you Mama, but you should go."

Mama let go of him and scrambled down the rope. He untied it dropping the rope down so they could keep it.

Caleb climbed into his bed and hugged his pillow close to his chest. Tears came unbidden down his face. Mama must hate him now for being so cruel. Master Ikithon was right about him being a screw up when left on his own.

* * *

It was a little over a week later when Bren first received a Sending. It was a bad day for Master Ikithon so it was a worse day for Bren. He was locked in the closet again and told to think of ways to be of more value to the Empire. But all Bren could think of was how he should've left with Mama. That was just fool's talk though. Soltryce and by Master Ikithon's side was where he belonged. He was biting his lip trying not to cry when a voice interrupted his thoughts. "HI!! This is Jester, your Mama's friend! She wanted to make sure that you're okay and that you know that she loves you very very-" It sounded like she had more to say, but that she was cut off.

"Um, hello," he said hesitantly. "This is," but he didn't know if he should say Caleb or Bren. It was getting harder and harder to know who he was. He finally settled and said, "me. I'm fine. Mama shouldn't worry about me. She's the one in the dangerous world. Tell her I love her too." And with that the Sending was finished. There was strange magical click feeling to it.

He waited quietly for another Sending, but it didn't happen. But it stopped his tears.

The next Sending came in the middle of a class. Bren was punished for not paying attention, but he found he didn't mind that much and was just replaying the message from the tiefling over and over in his head. He was finding that he could recall most things perfectly, and Master Ikithon said that it was an important talent to hone. But he probably didn't mean for Bren to use it to remember Mama.

Classes were becoming harder and so was meeting Master Ikithon's expectations. More often than not Bren found himself in the closet. It gave him time to think, and he was starting to wonder if the Mighty were right that not everything was right in the Empire, but that kind of talk was traitorous and dangerous. But it didn't stop the questions from coming.

Jester's Sendings usually came at night right as Bren was going to bed or while he was cramped in the closet which felt like it kept getting smaller. They didn't come every night usually there was a couple of days between each sending, but they quickly became highlights of his life. Mama was doing well and Caleb would just tell them about the occasional good thing that happened. He was growing to like Jester even if she was a little weird.

Master Ikithon noticed that Bren had been acting weird and distracted, but fortunately Master Ikithon just blamed it on hormones and gave Bren a horrifyingly eye opening lecture on the birds and bees. Bren only hoped that that was a one time thing. A week later Master Ikithon announced that Bren was making great progress and that he would have the honor of taking part in a great project for the advancement of the Empire.

It wasn't an honor. It was tortue. Master Ikithon had a bowl of crystal shards. "For increasing your skills and abilities," he said. Bren kept reminding himself that it was for the Empire as his guardian carefully sliced open his skin and inserted a sliver of crystal into his arm. A cleric was there to heal the cuts sealing in the shard. It took all of Bren's willpower to not scratch his arms open. His willpower lasted five minutes and 35 seconds. The cleric did not heal his arms after the crystals were removed. "Really, Bren, I expected better of you," Master Ikithon said as he closed Bren once more in the closet.

A Sending came that night. Mama was a pirate now and having grand adventures. And Bren just cried. Another Sending came immediately. "Are you okay? Do you need healing? The Traveler says I can't heal through sending, but," Jester made a loud kissing sound, "a kiss to make it feel better. From Mama."

He laughed but it just turned into a cry. "Thank," he paused in pain, "Mama for me." The aching didn't stopped.

* * *

One good thing came about during this time. Bren became friends with an older student, a halfling named Luc. Master Ikithon was doing the same tests on him, but Luc never cried as quickly as Bren did. Luc was the only student of Master Ikithon’s that didn’t mind Bren hanging around him.

Luc had shown Bren how to bandage up his arms if he’s alone and ways to distract himself from the pain. And Bren showed Luc the best secret places at Soltryce. Meanwhile Jester’s Sendings were becoming more common. When Bren wasn’t wracked with pain, he’d tell Jester about his cool new friend. But the crystals and tests were becoming more and more common, so he usually just ended up crying to Jester.

“What are they doing to you?” Jester asked one night. “Are they torturing you? Is it your school? Do you need saving? Cause we can save you. We could-” And the message cut out.

It was a night where Master Ikithon didn’t have any crystals for Bren fortunately, so his mind was clear. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I just tripped and hurt myself. That’s all. Tell Mama I’m fine and that I love her.” He knew it was a lame excuse, but maybe she’d bought it.

After that night the crystals became daily for Bren. He no longer looked forward to Jester's Sendings. They were spent with Jester saying soft soothing things to him and Bren just crying to her. She no longer expected him to be able to talk to her during the sendings. It was weak and cowardly to cry to her, but his endurance was not building up like Master Ikithon said it would.

Luc was the other source of comfort for Bren during this time. "You're not looking good Bren," the halfling said.

"I'm ginger, I'm not supposed to look good," Bren joked, but he knew how he looked. His skin was sallow and pale and under his eyes were bruised. His hair lost its sheen and he was having trouble eating.

Luc frowned at him. "I don't know what Master Ikithon has planned for you, but I don't like it."

"I'm to serve my country," Bren said. It should've been obvious.

"But how? He's practically killing you," Luc whispered. "You've been his guinea pig more than me or his other special students. We know our purpose. I don't know what yours is."

Bren bristled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing. You’re just a kid. I'm just worried that's all. You're not as strong as the rest of us."

"I can grow strong," Bren said. "I'm willing to be strong for the empire."

Luc sighed. "Yeah, I get that, but that's not going to suddenly put thirty pounds on you. You've been losing weight. Have you been sleeping?"

"You're starting to sound like Mama," Bren muttered.

"Who?"

Bren shook his head. "No one. It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Don't lie. Look, I've got something for you," Luc said. He pulled out a necklace.

Bren looked it over. "What's this for?"

"It's to protect you from scrying. Put it on and no one can find you or watch you," Luc said. "There's other ways to find someone, but this takes care of the most obvious magical ones."

"But why would I need this?" Bren asked.

Luc looked around before saying, "To run away."

Bren dropped the amulet. "What?!"

"Shh! It's not safe for you here. You got to realize that. I don't know if Ikithon's planning on just having you die for his tests or if there's something bigger he has in mind, but I'm not going to stand by idly while you die."

"I'm not, Master Ikithon wouldn't," Bren paused, "you don't really think that he'd just-"

Luc looked incredibly tired all at once. "You've known him longer than I have. What do you think?"

Bren picked up the amulet. "When should I leave?"

* * *

Jester stopped Sending to Caleb with Nott in the room after the first time Jester heard him crying. It was hard to keep a poker face at that sound. There wasn't anything they could do for him from so far away. Especially since they were on a ship in the middle of the ocean. So Jester kept Sending to Caleb and telling him the happy parts of Nott’s day. Even if Caleb’s crying in response made Jester’s heart break.

The Mighty were on their way to Felderwin when Jester got a different response to her Sending. “I left Rexxentrum and am heading south. I ran away from Soltryce. Can I join you?” He sounded nervous and uncertain. “If you don’t want me, I understand.”

Jester ran over to Nott. “Nott, Nott, Nooooootttttt!!!! I got the biggest news ever! Caleb left Soltryce Academy and wants to join us!”

“What?” Nott’s eyes grew wide and started to water up. “He wants to join us?”

Jester nodded. “Yeah! Can he?!”

Fjord frowned. “Do we really want somebody so indoctrinated? I have nothing against the Empire, but I don’t know if we can trust him.”

“He’s my boy! I raised him and cared for him and now you want me to just abandon him?!” Nott yelled.

“Hey,” Beau said, “he’s kinda got a point. This could be a trap.”

Jester bit her lip. “I’m not so sure. He’d have to be a really really good actor.”

“What do you mean?” Nott asked. “Caleb’s a very smart boy.”

“I kinda didn’t tell you about most of the Sendings to him on the ship. He was crying. Kinda like he couldn’t talk because of pain? He said he was fine though, but I kinda think he was lying?” Jester said not daring to look at Nott.

Fjord swore and it was followed by the distinctive sound of Beau punching a tree. “What happened? What were they doing to him?” Nott asked clutching Jester’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Caleb wouldn’t tell me what was going on and he was so far away we couldn’t do anything for him, so I didn’t want to scare you. But I didn’t abandon him. I checked on him as often as I could,” Jester said. Tears started to well up in her eyes.

Nott caught Jester’s eye and looked up at her. “I’m his mother, it’s not your job to worry about him. It’s mine.” She gently wiped the tears off of Jester’s face. “You should’ve told me.”

“He told me that he just tripped and hurt himself, but I think he was lying,” Jester said.

“That’s the oldest one in the book,” Beau said. “So, where are we meeting him?”

“Meeting him?” Jester asked. “You mean he can join us?”

Beau nodded. “I mean, we’re not big enough a-holes to just leave him out in the world by himself. Besides, Nott would shoot us if we didn’t go get him.”

“You got that right,” Nott said. “Where is he, how soon can he get to us?”

“I’ll have to ask.” Jester took a breath and began her Sending. “Hi Caleb! Of course you can join us! Where are you? We’re between Felderwin and Allfield. But we’ll go north for you!” She had three words left. “Mama loves you!”

“Really? Thank you.” Caleb sounded surprised and grateful. “I’m by the Amber Crossroads, but I’ll keep going south. It’ll take me ten days to get to Beeleben. Tell Mama I-” And the Sending ended, but Jester had a feeling what he wanted to say.

“Caleb says he loves you very very much and that he misses you,” Jester told Nott.

Beau frowned. “That’s it?”

“Well, also that he’s going south and is by the Amber Crossroads and can get to Belleben in ten days,” Jester said.

Fjord rubbed his chin as he looked at their map. “We should be able to get there in time.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Nott demanded. “Let’s go to Beeleben!”

* * *

Nott tried to stay calm at the inn at Beeleben but was failing at it. Caleb was late. He was five days late. Jester said that he guessed wrong and that he was fine, but that did nothing for Nott’s nerves. “Why isn’t he here?! He said he’d be here five days ago!”

“He probably just mixed up how long it takes to get here,” Jester said. “It sounds like he doidn’t travel a lot at school.”

“But he’s very smart. Caleb wouldn’t make mistakes like that,” Nott said. She was so nervous she could barely drink.

Beau rolled her eyes. “Isn’t he like fifteen? Yeah, I wouldn’t expect him to have the best grasp of that sort of thing.”

Nott glared at Beau. “He’s always been very clever.”

“I’ve been Sending him each night,” Jester said. “He’s on his way and is fine and should be here soon.”

“But where is he?” Nott asked.

A voice came in her head. “Mama?” It was Caleb shy and hesitant. She had missed his voice. “I’m here.” Tears welled in Nott’s eyes and she turned around to see Caleb at the door. He was taller now and dirtier than she had ever seen him before. Rough bandages covered Caleb’s arms, and she didn’t like the look of those smears of bloodstains on them. His face was pale and gaunt, but there was a faint smile.

Nott ran to him and held Caleb close raining him with kisses as he knelt down. “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m sorry.” There was a heavy guilt in his voice. One that he should be too young to feel. But it was going to be okay now that Caleb was back in her arms. That’s what mamas are for; making everything better.


End file.
